Today, I did something I never thought I would ever have to do. I applied for food stamps at the Department of Human Services. Sigh. . .

I know, in my head, that the purpose of DHS services is to help people like me who have been put in a bad situation. I know, in my head, that I have helped fund these services with taxes that I have paid while employed for many years. I know, in my head, that using these services does not make me a bad person. I know, in my head, that I am not a failure. I know all of these things – in my head.

My heart, on the other hand, is breaking. Unemployment is taking its toll in many ways – financially and emotionally.

I have applied for over 30 jobs in the past 4 1/2 months. I have worked diligently to review job postings, revamp my resume’, write professional cover letters, complete applications, and apply – apply – apply. I have prepared thoroughly for the few interview opportunities I have received. At each interview, I have felt that I presented myself in a professional and positive manner. But, still, no job.

A funny thing did happen in the DHS interview. The representative told me, at first, that the amount I receive from unemployment is just over the limit to receive food stamps. Then, in conversation, I mentioned that I wondered if the fact that I am almost 62 had anything to do with not receiving a job offer. She said, “You’re over 60? That means we can count your medical insurance payments against your unemployment income.” Hmmm. . . I’m taking it as a positive that she didn’t realize I was over 60. I’ll take any positive I can.  🙂

I am thankful that I will be able to receive some help with purchasing food. I am thankful for many things. . . I would be even more thankful if I could get a good job that uses my knowledge and expertise.