I don’t usually engage in the tradition of making New Year’s Resolutions in January of a new year. That tradition has always seem rather cliche’ to me, and most people seem to break their New Year’s Resolutions. But I do try to reevaluate my life periodically and make positive changes. My present reevaluation happens to coincide with January of a new year. It is definitely time to make some serious changes in my life.
The last half of 2010 was a time of extreme stress for me. In June, my mother had to go to Dallas, Texas for shoulder replacement surgery. My sister took her to Dallas while I went to my parents’ retirement apartment in Texas to stay with my father who was experiencing worsening symptoms of dementia. Thus began months of stays in Texas, travel back and forth from my home in Oklahoma to my parents’ home in Texas, hours spent on the telephone and on paperwork, and increasing periods of being overwhelmed with all the additional responsibilities that were being required of me.
I have pages of notebooks filled with my life during those months: lists of things that had to be accomplished; conversations with doctors, nursing homes, and various officials to try to care for my father and mother; and more lists. And I must continue to fill those pages because there is no cure for dementia and no cure for aging.
I’m afraid I have aged a great deal in the past six+ months. I have used “help” from a bottle for several years to cover the small amounts of encroaching gray in my hair and maintain the color. However, when the roots would begin to show in the past, they only showed random gray hairs. Now, the roots are becoming mostly gray – much like our President’s (at least I don’t have that job, thank goodness!). My hair is tired, my skin is tired, and I am tired – all the time.
So, what am I going to do about my life? There are many things I “need” to do. I need to eat better, exercise, spend more time with friends, give more time to enjoying my grandchildren (oh – and my daughters and sons-in-law, of course – HeeHeeHee). I need some balance.
It’s difficult to create balance when there are only a certain number of hours in a day – and most of those hours must be spent on work to pay my bills and on responsibilities to care for my parents at this time in their lives. I don’t know if I will be able to create the balance that I need. I do know that I have to try.
One big step I’m taking is to write in my blog after being absent for so many months. I don’t know how often I’ll write, but I know that it’s important for me to focus some attention here. I’ll also try to include some exercise in my weekly schedule. These two things will help my mind and my body.
And, of course, I’ll continue to get “help” from the bottle to cover the increasing gray hairs.