I finally had to do it. I couldn’t put it off any longer. I bought something that indicates a sure sign of aging – a magnifying glass.
I had to succumb after I bought some new vitamins and couldn’t read all the print on the back of the bottle. Good grief!
Of course, I bought the cheap, old-fashioned version of the magnifying glass. The older I get, though, the more technology there is to help with problems like declining vision.
And then there’s this amazing technology that is being developed for people who have lost the ability to see with their eyes. Lest you jump immediately to the preposterous conclusion that I am being redundant (“see with their eyes”), I make that distinction because this man can see with his tongue.
Actually, he doesn’t really see with his tongue. He sees with his brain. But the tongue is an important factor in the. . .
Anyway – I’ve never had really good vision. In fact, I’ve had to wear glasses or contacts for over 50 years. But, with the help of corrective lenses, I have been able to function quite well. I’ve been able to read just about any size of writing. Until now!
It’s bad enough that aging is affecting the area around my eyes. Now it’s affecting the area inside my eyes. And my self-esteem – I mean, come on – I had to buy a magnifying glass!!
I have come to a very important conclusion. My conclusion, based on rationalization (which is my answer to fact), is that my eyes aren’t really getting worse as I age. I believe the FDA is now populated by young subversives who are out to get the aging population by insisting that drug and vitamin companies put more and more information on containers – thus causing much smaller print – thus causing older adults to think our eyes are getting worse. That’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it.
Next thing you know – I’ll be wearing Depends! – Or a new technological equivalent. Ouch!