The three little pigs evidently had hairs on their chins. And maybe they were okay with that.
I, on the other hand, am not okay with that. After menopause, I started getting little hairs popping out of my chin. Yeah, that’s right – my chin! On my face!
And because of that, my tweezers have become my best friend and constant companion.
When I was younger and heard people talk about menopause, I thought women who had gone through menopause must be old enough to be ready for a nursing home – where they sat around just surviving – with hairs sticking out of their chins. Of course, back then, menopause was one of the many subjects that people didn’t talk about much.
Then I found out that women are hardly ready for the nursing home just because of menopause. I found out partly because those taboo subjects were being talked about more – and partly because I realized as I got older that old is a relative term depending on your age at the time. According to http://www.webmd.com , menopause is considered a normal part of aging for women after the age of 40. 40?!? That’s barely middle age for most women.
I went through menopause in my early fifties. I experienced the hot flashes, insomnia, fatigue, mood swings, irritability.
Yes – my mood swings and irritability were caused by menopause – they were beyond my control. That’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it!
Of course, part of the irritability could be due to the fact that I have hairs growing out of my chin!!
And the thing is – they sneak up on me. I never know when they’re going to show up. They don’t seem to start out small and get longer like normal hair. They just suddenly appear – completely grown – and long – and stiff – and ugly. Eeewwwwww!
I will be giving instructions that, after I die, my tweezers must be put in my coffin with me in case any hairs pop out during the viewing or the funeral (Oh yes – these hairs are stubborn! They could pop out even after I die!). That way, the tweezers will be right there, and one of my daughters will need to pull the hairs out (And I will come back and haunt them if they don’t).
I can’t bear to think that people might be looking at me lying there, remembering the times we shared (hopefully not too bad), thinking about how much I meant to their lives (at least helping to keep their lives somewhat interesting) – and how empty their lives will be without me (okay, I think I threw up a little in my mouth) – when suddenly – out pops a long ugly hair on my chin! They would never be able to get that picture out of their minds – believe me. That’s the stuff of nightmares.
I used to look forward to getting older because I thought I would have more control over my life. HA! The truth is – the older I get, the less command I have over many aspects of my life – and certainly over many parts of my body.
Even the hairs on the rest of my body have been affected. Hair has disappeared from locations where it used to grow. And hair is growing where it never grew before. It seems like every day I have hair appearing and disappearing in new spots. I can’t keep up.
But one thing has become constant. I – have – hairs – growing – out – of – my – chinnnnnnn!